“N”: looking for Nepenthe

Life doesn’t always work the way you expect.  In fact, it hardly ever seems to.

I’m in a relationship with someone who is bipolar.  Whether it’s the illness or his own innate nature, he is also very self-centered.  If he has decided a thing is to be, because he wants it, you can’t get him to change his mind.

Last night, we were driving home when I tried to explain to him that I didn’t want to make a change that he wanted.  I felt that it was a bad decision and that I would prefer not to leave the situation I was currently in.

His response was to scream at me while we (I) drove down the freeway, and when I tried to defuse his anger, he swung his arm and hit me.  While I was driving 65 mph.

Fortunately, there was no one around us and I wasn’t in the innermost lane, or I would have hit the concrete barriers as I swung the wheel out of instinct.

I sleep a lot — I think it’s my way of avoiding dealing with him unless I have no other choice. I’m not in a position to leave.  I just wish I could find a quiet place and forget.

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2 thoughts on ““N”: looking for Nepenthe

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