Ain’t Too Proud to Beg …

I hate asking for help.

One of the things that has been necessary as our savings begin to dwindle has been asking for ‘getting by’ assistance.

I’ve applied for as much official support as I can right now … prescription help and PIPP and HEAP and this, that and the other thing. But as I wait for bureaucracy to roll and get us what we need, I have been forced to ask friends and family (personal and church) for support.  I HATE that.  HATE it.

They say pride’s not hard to swallow if you chew it long enough.  And I suppose it’s at least partially pride that makes me feel this way. But I also feel as though I’m taking advantage.  That’s not my motivation, Lord knows. We need far more than I’ve asked for. There’s lots of small things that aren’t going to get paid. Some I can live without, others are harder. But it’s not as though I’m surrounded by rich people with lots to throw around.

I wish I had a better job.  My temp job is just enough to keep me from getting unemployment, but not enough to live on (of course, unemployment isn’t enough to live on either, but that’s another story).

So (to paraphrase Edwin Arlington Robinson) I wait for the light, go without the meat and curse the bread [not literally]. And I ask God to see us through so I don’t have to ask for any more help.

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2 thoughts on “Ain’t Too Proud to Beg …

  1. Tana says:

    Well I know it’s cold comfort to know that there are a LOT of people just like you in this same position right now, through no fault of their own. It’s scary out there. I’m getting ready to do some temp work now too. That seems like all that’s left for me. Maybe someone will like my work and pick me up? I’m just not earth mothery enough to “live off the land”. I’m wondering about a return to the 60’s style hippie communes so people can afford to live.

    And the worst part of asking for all this help is the application process, no? How do you do it and work too? My daughter was just saying the other day – I’m trying to work (she’s thru a temp agency too), and I keep having to take the whole day off for this that or the other. But she doesn’t make enough money to not get some small amount of assistance. For her it’s health care – the temp agency doesn’t provide that. Sigh… I’m sure you already know.

    Wish I knew the secret handshake to fix it all for you (and for me too!). If I find out – I’ll share ASAP! Hang in there chickiedoo.

  2. Asking for any kind of help always makes me feel like a failure. Whether it’s monetary, physical, emotional, spiritual — I’m a little bit too much of a rugged individualist for my own good. Hang in there!

    And I love “Richard Cory,” both the poem and the Simon & Garfunkle song.

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