Well, Calicon is more or less officially over, at least for me. I leave from Burbank today.
Those who are leaving from LAX decamped last night to another bivouac location more convenient for tomorrow’s manouevers. 🙂 I’m standing lone picket (so to speak).
This morning, I stood looking at my room as I closed the door for the last time. It occurred to me that we leave behind little bits of our lives everywhere we go; this room, that home and so on.
I know I learned some things about myself over the last few days — some of them good, some not. After seeing all the pictures that have been posted, I am insistant even more about losing weight. It scares me. If I look this bad NOW, after I know I’ve lost weight and inches and sizes, what in the name of all that’s wonderful did I look like THEN? Gee whiz! Still, I’m going to keep the pix around and remind myself that this is not who I am or want to be or look like.
The hardest thing is dealing with how things are going to be when I get home. I have to find work. I have to deal with the fact that I have lived on the hope of this weekend for the past year, and as much as I did enjoy it, there were some unmet expectations that I will likely never have the chance to fulfill. Dreams die hard and I will be doing some mourning for them. I’m already creating a new expectation by aiming for Montrèal in February — getting to see the Habs in Bell Centre. I need something.
In Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, Dumbledore tells Harry that “It does not do to dwell in dreams and forget to live.” Sound advice, I suppose, but what do you do when dreams are all you have?