I’m just waitin’ …

I had to go through a drug test and a criminal background check for my new job. Not sure why they waited until after they hired me to do this, but since I’ve never been closer to a street drug than sitting in front of someone smoking pot at a concert ten years ago and never done anything illegal, it’s not a big deal.

But I still worry — I’ve heard stories of people who ate perfectly innocent things which metamorphed in their bloodstream to something that looked wrong.  So, I keep expecting the phone to ring and to hear:  “I’m terribly sorry, Mrs. Aldrich, but we have to retract our job offer.  Your drug screen came back positive for flaxseed and we have a zero tolerance policy on that.”  Or one of my two traffic tickets (in 34 years!) comes to light:  “Really, Mrs. Aldrich, you can’t think we want someone on our staff who turned right on red from Mayfield Road to Richmond Road outside of the right hours for that on July 8, 2003?”

Well, yeah, okay.  That’s a little unlikely, I admit.  But when you’re marking time in the process of moving from one job to another, you have plenty of time to let your mind wander — and my mind really likes to wander!

On Rhapsody: “I Went To Dance Last Night”, D.L. Menard

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